Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Presidential Hunting Trip

Yes!!! I am back!!!! Don't Faint!!!!!

I have been trying to think of what to write and share. After all I am a guy and I am still working on the comunicate for comunications sake. Bare with me I am trying.

When we went for our first visit to Chajuraña we were only there for a few days. God made it clear that we were supposed to move there and work. The story I want to share really doesn´t have a spiritual message, but I think it will be interesting to see a short segment of my friends life.

I was bored in the village and heard that one of Ingrid´s uncles was going to go hunting and asked if I could accompany them. Ignorance is bliss, and be careful what you ask for.... you might get it!!!!!

It was a regal group that made our way up river, for me, into the unknown. Nelson Rockefeller Cortéz, Lindon Johnson Cortéz and Clinton...... Our boat driver passed us all in celebrity as his name was Caesar, (Julius or Agustus I am not sure) . Some of you might think that I am making the names up, but I am not. I speak the truth unlike my namesake!

We got out of the canoe and headed into the hills on a path that only they could see, without them I would never have found my way back, (I know that for a fact and will explain later) I often thought how that would have been such a nice way to deal with unwanted suitors of my three daughters.

They listend to sounds that I never heard and ran off into the jungle chasing the dogs. They neglected to tell me they were going and it surprised me to turn around and see them running off into the jungle and leaving me behind. I reacted the only way I could think was logical. I wasn´t about let them leave me there!!!!! So I take off after them. After about 200 yards of dodging trees and vines and jumping logs, I starting wondering about the most irrelevant things like,
Good thing I have a will!
If I get lost and die: Will I be considered a martyr or just stupid!?
Can you really eat tree bark?
Am I really this hungry!!
When we caught up with the dogs and bludgeoned to death the biggest rat I had ever seen I knew the answer to that one!!!!! "accurri" is what they called it. But as I now say, if it has a nose like a rat, and feet like a rat and a tail like a rat, don´t let the fact that it is 2 feet long fool you....... IT IS A RAT!!!!!

After 3 hours of walking over hill and dale (I heard them complaining that they had only gotten half as far with the fat white guy as they usually do alone) Still don´t know who they were talking about! We turned around and headed back, climbing a hill and struggling to breathe I looked down for a minute and prayed that I would see my wife and children again. When I looked up, Lindon to my front had dissapeared, and Nelson , behind me was also gone!!!! Yes!!!!! Just like the movies!!!!! They were gone, and I didn´t know if it was a silent Jaguar or maybe a fierce tribe of invisible indians who were saving me for last cause I would be the easiest kill!!!!! or maybe they had finally enacted their evil plan to get rid of the missionary!!!!!!

I knew I had to get to the river, so with my highly honed skills I set out to evade death, and proceeded to get lost. They found me, I told them I was just wanting to see what the jungle looked like from the top of that hill. They said OOOHHHH!!! Right!!!! come see the river!!!

I was so happy to see my hammock that afternoon that I didn´t get out of it all the next day, not lazy, just couldn´t move!
So if you see their ad in the paper "Hunt with the presidents! Eat like you never have before!!!!" You will know what they are talking about!!!!

God Bless,


Anonymous said...

Loved it! So funny! I could hear you telling it in my mind!

Anonymous said...

Clint be sure to tell everyone why these indians got the names they have!

Anonymous said...

I remember eating that meat. It tasted sooooooo good after having nothing but grits and soup for two weeks!!!

Pat said...

See, you do have it in you---if Chavez helps you get home, you coule be a novelist or biographer!! Sounds like a good sell to me!!

Happy bloggin!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for writing and sharing! See !1 We all enjoy it. I even got used to eating"rat" and would love some of your homemade sausage made with it about now.